It has been 2 week since i last touched this space. Friends has been asking me how is my blog doing and why aint i posting anything regularly. Lets be honest here, i am really ashamed of myself that i am actually using all my photoshoot pictures to keep my blog updated or alive. I am really sorry if my blog wasn't like how it was the last time and blame me for being sucky and uncreative enough. I will promise to post more words than picture. I apologise if my blog has bored you lately. Being Straight forward here, if my blog has been boring right from the start then i guess you shouldn't be here reading all this shit so Fuck You.
Been asking myself lately if i am really deserved to be here. Questioning myself with weird thought has been a midnight routine for me and in the end i would end up going to bed in tears and i have to wash the eyes shit around my eyes the next morning.
Many of us, human has gone thru this stage and it is normal. Stage in life where we feel sucky, worthless, useless, pathetic and feeling like a piece of shit burdening everyone. At this stage the only way you can think of to escape all these reality is to commit suicide? Yep i know i can totally feel you. You are not alone.
It is the worst state of my life i have ever go through. I have never feel so shitty and lonely before in my life. Maybe it is a god gift? maybe i am born to face all these challenges?. You can handle it but i couldn't. I tried to reach out my hand for help but no one seem to grab it. Pretty lost...
The only way i could safe myself is to call and sometimes talk to someone from the other world. I don't remember him living on earth, he has a weird name but i couldn't remember it clearly what it was. He would vanish after answering my question, stare at me continuously out of nowhere and he would laugh at me when i am devastated.
Called the SOS and they say i am insane and couldn't be saved. With the fucked up anger i had in me, i vandalised my room wall with angry crayon drawing and tear down all my poster. What has my room become...i am helpless. My family member and closest friend started to get terrified of me, and i understand why.
There is nothing i could do to save myself.
Except to stare and hear the ticking of the clock on the wall, waiting for the right time to vanish from this suffering world. He promised me that he would bring me along with him.
So Till We Meet Again.
It is the worst state of my life i have ever go through. I have never feel so shitty and lonely before in my life. Maybe it is a god gift? maybe i am born to face all these challenges?. You can handle it but i couldn't. I tried to reach out my hand for help but no one seem to grab it. Pretty lost...
The only way i could safe myself is to call and sometimes talk to someone from the other world. I don't remember him living on earth, he has a weird name but i couldn't remember it clearly what it was. He would vanish after answering my question, stare at me continuously out of nowhere and he would laugh at me when i am devastated.
Called the SOS and they say i am insane and couldn't be saved. With the fucked up anger i had in me, i vandalised my room wall with angry crayon drawing and tear down all my poster. What has my room become...i am helpless. My family member and closest friend started to get terrified of me, and i understand why.
There is nothing i could do to save myself.
Except to stare and hear the ticking of the clock on the wall, waiting for the right time to vanish from this suffering world. He promised me that he would bring me along with him.
So Till We Meet Again.
No comments:
Post a Comment